salamandersamba:

Why did the chicken go to jail?

A murder most foul.

2 notes

salamandersamba:

docthulesadventures:

salamandersamba:

docthulesadventures:

salamandersamba:

I’m 23 goddamn years old and I’m still terrified to walk into pitch blackness in the wee hours and upstairs light won’t turn on so I’m sitting in the dining room wishing I could work up the courage to go to bed.

You’re a huge baby.

I know, right?!

Know what would help? A light ray emitter. It’s a small handheld tube that uses a light bulb to focus light in a beam, illuminating dark areas! We’ve just created the prototype and we’re looking into getting a patent soon!

That’s a flashlight. You just invented the flashlight again.

Fuck.

12 notes

salamandersamba:

docthulesadventures:

salamandersamba:

I’m 23 goddamn years old and I’m still terrified to walk into pitch blackness in the wee hours and upstairs light won’t turn on so I’m sitting in the dining room wishing I could work up the courage to go to bed.

You’re a huge baby.

I know, right?!

Know what would help? A light ray emitter. It’s a small handheld tube that uses a light bulb to focus light in a beam, illuminating dark areas! We’ve just created the prototype and we’re looking into getting a patent soon!

12 notes

salamandersamba:

I’m 23 goddamn years old and I’m still terrified to walk into pitch blackness in the wee hours and upstairs light won’t turn on so I’m sitting in the dining room wishing I could work up the courage to go to bed.

You’re a huge baby.

12 notes

I forget how this came up but…

salamandersamba:

My boss and I were talking at work, and somehow the word “Raptoids” came up. That’s a great name for a fictional band of carnivorous dinosaurs, don’t you think?

“You’ve never heard of the Raptoids because they’re so underground. Because they’re fossilized

AND;

“WE ARE THE RAPTOIDS AND WE KNOW HOW TO OPEN DOORS ONETWOTHREEFOUR” 

You know, shit like that.

3 notes

Just googled myself, Doctor Thule, and I’m the FIFTH ONE DOWN. The first four are REAL DOCTORS. Not that my doctorate in “contemporary villainy” is fake…

3 notes

salamandersamba:

I had a dream the other night. A lot of it is lost to me now, unfortunately. But what I do remember is unpleasant. I was an archer or a ranger of some kind, in a fantasy setting. I got an order from my superiors to kill some goblins, so I went to it, naturally. I killed about five from a good…

3 notes

Take a Metallica song and replace one word with “Dave”.

salamandersamba:

tomekon2011:

Aaaand go!

Sweating Dave

FUCK THAT WAS A MEGADETH SONG TOM I’M SO SORRY I HAVE FAILED THEE

(Source: ulrich-stormcloak)

19 notes

Holy Moley!

Today in sub-sector Omega, we found a previously undiscovered species of intelligent, bipedal moles! They think we’re their gods so… there’s that. I don’t know what to call ‘em, but we’re thinking of a few names.
My favorite so far is “free labor”