My boss and I were talking at work, and somehow the word “Raptoids” came up. That’s a great name for a fictional band of carnivorous dinosaurs, don’t you think?
“You’ve never heard of the Raptoids because they’re so underground. Because they’re fossilized”
“WE ARE THE RAPTOIDS AND WE KNOW HOW TO OPEN DOORS ONETWOTHREEFOUR”
You know, shit like that.
Just googled myself, Doctor Thule, and I’m the FIFTH ONE DOWN. The first four are REAL DOCTORS. Not that my doctorate in “contemporary villainy” is fake…
FUCK THAT WAS A MEGADETH SONG TOM I’M SO SORRY I HAVE FAILED THEE
Today in sub-sector Omega, we found a previously undiscovered species of intelligent, bipedal moles! They think we’re their gods so… there’s that. I don’t know what to call ‘em, but we’re thinking of a few names.
My favorite so far is “free labor”
Operations will be moving from an undisclosed location in New England to an undisclosed location in Washington state. We apologize for any inconvenience, injuries, trauma, emotional trauma, metaphysical trauma, expenditures, and deaths this may cause.
Have a Thuley Thursday, everyone!
I’m the CEO of a company and a mad scientist with loose morals and time on his hands.
And in a machine. ‘Cause, you know, we’ve got a time machine. We’ve had it for a month but Professor Vargus just built it two days ago. Explain that one! Because I can. Time travel. Remember the whole dinosaur thing? Yeah.
ANYWAY. I’m lazy and I don’t care and I can NOT stop playing this Borderlands 2 game! I have a gun that sets people on fire and another that melts people with acid and there are ones that shock and explode and you can play as like some kind of wizard girl and a haiku Daft Punk ninja and a South American dual-wielding dwarf and also some guy with a turret.
It’s now mandatory for all employees to play this game. Everyone’s gotta play it. And then we’re going to have a big old meeting and come up with weapon designs that we stole from this game. There’s an acid-spitting SMG that screams when you fire it! How did we not think of this?! We gotta get crackin’, guys. Get on the ball.
Okay I’m going to go play some more this game is AMAZING.
Thule out Thule out Thule out Thule out
Nothing like a nice crisp autumn morning to really put your war crimes into perspective. Happy first Sunday of the season! Tell me minions, how do YOU unwind on Sundays?
Ah, once again we’re beset upon by Friday! Does that make sense? I don’t know, my doctorate’s in Mad Science, not English. Anyway! There was a bit of a radiation leak in the basement. Basements. Downstairs where the normal roaches and rats live. Only now they’ve gained sentience and formed primitive civilizations, and seem to be constantly warring with each other. It’s a mess! All employees have been officially ordered to pick sides, because it’s Friday, and to me Friday is “Funday”. Every Friday is “Join the Warring Vermin Day” from now on. And what’s more fun than warring vermin? I’ll answer that by saying “nothing is more fun than what I just said”. SO! Grab a crossbow or a plasma rifle or whatever you can scrounge up from the folks in R&D.
We’ll still be having casual Fridays.
Have a safe weekend, everyone! Thule, ooouuuut!